“Nobody else knows your reason for being. You do. Your bliss guides you to it. When you follow your bliss, when you follow your path to joy, your conversation is of joy, your feelings are of joy — you’re right on the path of that which you intended when you came forth into this physical body.”
– Esther Hicks
“All people dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their mind, wake in the morning to find that it was vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous people, For they dream their dreams with open eyes, And make them come true.” ― D.H. Lawrence
“Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we have learned here. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and the acceptance of love back into our hearts.”
– Marianne Williamson
I wrote this piece a few years ago. I’m a logophile, meaning I love words. Words make sense to me and help Me make sense to Me. Whenever my emotions overwhelm me, I either speak about it, usually with my girlfriends. But more often than not, I wrote about it. I have volumes of journals chronicling my emotions and dozens of pieces. When I read my words, I gain insight into myself. It’s cheaper than an hour’s session with Dr Schmidt. *chuckles*
When you love someone, there are no half-measures about. You love them completely. When you love someone, there are no maybe’s. You love them with certainty. There are many things in life that I am not certain of. But one thing I know for sure is that I met and loved my soul mate.
God made different types of people and I believe he also made different types of souls. Just as you often get along with someone who has a similar personality to you, I believe that a soulmate is a person who has a soul similar to yours. You can find a soulmate in a friend or even family, if you’re lucky. And this is why I believe that you have more than one soul mate in the universe.
I met my soulmate when I was 16. At the time, I didn’t know that he was a soulmate. That realization would come much later, after the fact. All I knew was that I loved this man deeply, innately, without even trying. But I was never IN love with him. Being in love is merely infatuation. The butterflies, the “walking on sunshine” and tingly feelings aren’t love. It’s a superficial fascination for the object of your affection. Infatuation has its place in a romantic relationship, but it is not love.
When you love someone, you open the most intimate and private element of your being. You open up your heart. You don’t give love. You allow the other person to take it from you. You open up your heart and you allow them to reach in and take the love they need.
I met and loved my soulmate when I was 16. He met and loved me at age twenty. I took from him the love that was missing in me, the love that only same souls can give. And I let my him take from me the love he needed. We shared a deep friendship that baffled me at the time, but I reveled in it. Initially, there was no romantic intrusion. What was between us was love in its purest form.
For four years we loved each other. By opening myself up to love, I also opened myself up to me. In those four years, I learnt more about myself than I had in the sixteen years before I met him. The greatest part of this was watching him grow as person and knowing I, and the love I gave him and the love he took from me, was a major motivation for this growth. There is no feeling greater in this universe than loving and being loved in return. No words can explain it and therefore I hope, for your sake, that you find love in your lifetime and get to experience it.
I also hope, for your sake, that you never encounter the loss of love that we know as heartbreak. I did. It is an experience I have yet to fully recover from.
When you love, you give of yourself. And when you are loved, you take of someone else. But what you receive is not necessarily the same as what you give. You have to give up a part of yourself to love someone fully. What you give is not always replaced by what you receive. But it nonetheless a symbiotic relationship, love is. Only when that love tie is broken, and you’re no longer being fed what you need, do you notice that you have lost a part of yourself as well.
My soulmate and I thought our love and friendship would be a great basis for a romantic relationship. Fortunately (or unfortunately), as the saying goes; we plan, God laughs. It didn’t work, but that was okay. We went back to what we knew best. Nipped the infatuation in the bud and carried on as before. He wasn’t my God-ordained man and I wasn’t the woman for him. And that was okay.
It’s hard to explain and probably harder for outsiders to understand the dynamic of our relationship. We, who were on the inside, didn’t fully understand it either. That’s why, when he found his “her” we both knew that she’d never comprehend it, “Us”. And so without any words exchanged, we ended our friendship. And I lost a great love.
When he left, I broke to pieces. It wasn’t just my heart, it was my entire being. And even though I’ve loved again since he left, there will always be a part of my heart, my soul missing because he is walking around with that specific piece of me, in him.
When you love, you open up your heart and allow the other person to take what they need. And when you are loved you take what you might need for yourself. When you are loved by a soulmate, the love you receive feeds more than just your heart. It is type-specific to your soul, the real you and therefore feeds all of you.
When you lose that love, it is more than just heart ache. All of you, is shattered. It is something you can never recover from, unless you find another same soul to love. It explains why today, years on, it still hurts me. I am still healing. He was never my boyfriend, we were never involved. But I lost a great love of my life and all I can do is pray to God that He will send me another. Send me another love to feed my heart, feed my soul. Because the cure for a heartbreak, the only cure, is to love again.
I decided to post this piece because I recently ran into the subject. We sat down for an entire afternoon and caught up on each other’s lives, as if two years apart was nothing. After he left, and we hadn’t exchanged contact details, I realised I was okay. Truthfully, I miss carefree days of insouciance, pre-“her”, but I wasn’t hurting any more. Probably because I found someone who loves me as purely as he did. Thankfully, the Big-Guy-Upstairs sent me another soulmate who loves me & I love her deeply too. He sent me my best friend, Visoni. Not quite the “grand love” I (or I suppose you) expected, but love in its purest form nonetheless. I am a lucky girl.
I adore my mother. Nobody could ever replace her. Nobody could love me more than she does and nobody can compare to her. Every Mother’s Day I try to repay for the grey hairs I put on her head during my capricious teen years. The older I get, the harder it is to find inventive. At 23, a hand-made card and flowers I picked from HER garden stopped being adorable.
So I asked the mothers in my life for ideas, to get it from the horse’s mouth so to speak. Would you like to know what to give Mommy Dearest this Sunday? Give Mommy a break. That’s all she wants, a break from playing chauffeur, housekeeper, homework assistant, chef, doctor, personal ATM and all the other roles that come with being a mother. And by a break, I don’t mean a Kit Kat.
Here Mom, have a Break.
Cook (or cheat and Buy) her Favourite Restaurant Meal. Does she love the Wolves Meatball Sub or the Alabama Chicken Sandwich and Mugg & Bean? Why not ask the restaurant for the recipe and cook it for her at home. She’ll appreciate the effort it took for you to make her favourite meal. If you’re not a Master Chef in the kitchen, you could cheat and buy it. Either way she’ll appreciate not having to play chef and housekeeper for one night so when you’re done, wash the dishes.
Take her to the Movies. In the Living Room. Rent a few of her favourite films, provide snacks and set up your very own cinema in the living room. Then kick back and relax with Mom on the couch. There’s no need to drive so she’ll appreciate not having to play chauffeur and personal ATM at the movies. Don’t forget the popcorn. And to clean up when you’re done.
Mani, Pedi, Facial Anyone? What woman doesn’t like to be pampered like a princess? And your mother is no exception; she is a woman after all. Book her into a day spa: Camelot Spa at Villa d’ Este in Johannesburg and at The Table Bay in Cape Town are exceptional and Mangwanani Spas are peppered all over the country and are internationally renowned. Many spas offer Mother’s Day specials, so book your mother in for a few treatments and she’ll come out feeling a serene goddess. But remember she’s on a break so play chauffeur and ATM for her on the day.
There are plenty of other things you can do for Mom to show her you love and appreciate her; Mother’s Day picnic at the zoo, walking through the trails at Melville Koppies or Tygerberg, cook her breakfast in bed or organise drinks date with her girlfriends. Remember though she deserves it so give her a break. And a Kit Kat chocolate wouldn’t hurt either.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY MOMMY
I was born in the city of Kinshasa in the Democratic Republic of Congo but I have lived in Johannesburg since I was two years old. I’m a Joburger, not born, but definitely bred. I’m proud of my heritage, but I get a little envious of those who can say that they’re Joburgers, born & bred.
Although this city did not birth me, she did adopt me as her own. I love her like the adopted child loves her adoptive mother. I’ve travelled all over the South Africa and to all SADC countries and I can emphatically say, that there’s no place else like Joburg.
I randomly take shot of the different parts of my city on mycameraphone. Often they don’t quite capture the beauty my eyes can see, but they do an adequate job. All these pictures have been taken by me, unless otherwise specfied.
This is Joburg, my Jorburg.
If you’re in Argentina, dining at La Bourgogne at the Alvear Palace or in Manchester at Asian-fusion restaurant Australasia or at Per Se in New York at you ask the sommelier to pair your meal with the suitable wine, you will not be brought a traditional “on-paper” wine list.
Fine dining has now gone hi-tech with restaurants offering wine lists on iPads. Aureole in Las Vegas, can claim trendsetter status here. At Aureole, the contents of their four-storey, stainless-steel-and-glass wine tower can be browsed via an ‘ewinebook.’, Now this simple idea has become international with many more restaurants embracing iPad winelists everyday.
Several of Gordon Ramsay’s restaurants have iPad wine lists. London’s Rib Room, and the Vineyard,which has one of the most comprehensive American wine lists in the UK do as well.Italy, Spain, Ireland and even Brazil have adopted the iPad.
Not everyone is enthusiastically zealous. Several high-ranking professionals have expressed their doubts including Andrew Connor, of Luytens restaurant in London, is one. ‘Too many times technology has let me down,’ he says. ‘Air-conditioning broken, reservation systems crashed, lights gone crazy – I prefer a low-tech solution where possible.’
Personally, I think iPad wine lists are a brilliant idea, and bring on the iPad menus too. Soon paper and ink will be extinct, so let’s roll with the times people.
I can still remember the first book I read that wasn’t for school. It was Sweet Valley High: Bitter Rivals by Francine Pascal. I was in Grade 3, had moved to a new school and kept seeing the “cool girls” walking around with these little books. So went to the library and took out four Sweet Valley books. I sat in my reading spot at home that afternoon (up the plum-tree in our garden) and read them all – in one afternoon. Needless to say, I got into trouble the next day at school for not doing my homework, but I didn’t care much. I was too excited to get another four Sweet Valley’s that afternoon. And that’s how Suzanna the Bookworm was born.
I’m a little older now and my tastes in fiction and non-fiction have expanded, I’m a regular at Exclusive Books and have a Joburg library card. I was thrilled to discover that the Friends of the Library organise a book sale at the Sandton Library once a month.
All the money is used to buy books at the Sandton Library. Altogether Friends of the Library raised over R 45,000 in book sales in 2011, which enabled the Library to purchase many new books., both fiction and non-fiction, to satisfy not only the novel aficionados in Sandton, but those who require study books for their education.
For more information on Friends of the Library or to get the dates of their next contact the Sandton Library at Nelson Mandela Square
Tel.: 011 282 5911/15
Fax: 011 282 5916
I went over yesterday and bought six books for R50. Incredible, I know. On my way home I picked up some Häagen-Dazs ice-cream at the Sandton store. I sat poolside, eating Häagen-Dazs and sipping on an ice-cold drink, lost in Georgina Howell’s Daughter of the Desert, absolutely content with life. *sigh* This is what summer is all about.
I enjoy good food and living in a cosmopolitan city like Johannesburg, finding a restaurant that serves good food is like finding a needle in a needle stack, child’s play. However, finding a restaurant that uses organic produce is no easy feat and convincing my family that organic food tastes just as good if not better than processed food, is nigh impossible. Thankfully, Salvation Cafe at 44 Stanley has made that endeavour a little easier.
44 Stanley, situated in Auckland Park, is a district of renovated industrial buildings and warehouses. It definitely is Joburg’s best kept secret. The 1930’s architecture, aloes and eclectic speciality boutiques of 44 Stanley, is the perfect backdrop for Salvation Cafe’s shabby-chic decor. Picture mismatched tables and chairs, colourful throw pillows and antique candelabra.
The diverse menu is inspired by owner/chef Claudia Giannoccaro’s travels. Claudia sailed the world onboard private yachts cooking for the elite and wealthy, making them feel at home. And at home is how my brother, sister-in-law and I felt curled up on the sofa style bench in the courtyard, munching on our Salvation Burgers. A giant ground beef patty with sweet milk cheese and bacon, served with a side of crunchy wedges and a sweet-savoury tomato salsa. The food at Salvation Cafe is organic wherever possible and they use using organic milk as well as free-range chicken and eggs. All the meat is free of any growth hormones and the wine list also has organic and biodynamic products.
I’m pretty sure that when I mentioned organic to my brother and sister-in-law, they expected bean sprouts and celery sticks. The Tempura Five-Spice Calamari and the Thai style fishcakes with Asian greens and a sweet-chilli dipping sauce made converts of the self-confessed food snobs.
The menu itself hasn’t changed much over the years, but make sure to ask the friendly, knowledgeable waiters about the day’s specials. If we had the whole afternoon, we would have eaten our way through the entire menu, but we decided to exercise a little self-control so that we had an excuse to come back another day. But the promise of mouth-watering food in a cosy, relaxed ambience is excuse enough to have me coming back time and time again.
Salvation Cafe is open for breakfast and lunch daily. Catering and evening venue hire available. For bookings or enquiries call 011 482 7795, but no bookings on weekends.